I have more than tiger stripes
I’ve had stretch marks since I was 14 years old on my hips and muffin tops. So the idea of insecurity with my tiger stripes, never really impacted me as much as psoriasis has. I’ve always had smooth, soft skin and when I found out that I had an auto-immune disease, it broke my heart. Psoriasis is an immune-mediated condition that causes the body to make new skin cells in days rather than weeks. Psoriasis causes itchiness and irritation and can be hereditarily passed on to children. Usually, psoriasis can also be triggered by various circumstances such as environmental, psychological, or physical. These are called triggers. However, the main trigger for psoriasis, is stress; it’s known to be the number one cause for it. Over time, if you live with the condition, you begin to understand your personal agitators to prevent flare-ups and control the breakouts. For me, I’ve noticed weather, stress, dehydration and certain food items such as caffeine and alcohol may or may not trigger my psoriasis. So there will times that I can have caffeine or alcohol and if I'm not stressed or overwhelmed, it usually doesn’t flare up. If I’m feeling uneasy, I should strain away from things that can enhance my anxiety and usually that means caffeine. Although that’s what I’ve noticed what’s affected me over time, this may not be for everyone. What I do know is that psoriasis is more common than we think. There are more than 3 million U.S. cases every year; our community is two to three percent of our whole wide world population according to the World Psoriasis Day consortium.
It was only about four years ago when I was diagnosed with psoriasis. I was coming home late from dance classes and would notice one or two spots under my breast. I thought my sweat was causing me an irritation of some kind. I even thought it was the material of clothing I’d wear for dance class or the gym or maybe my brassiere. It took me a while to become concerned since I only really saw no more than one or two spots at a time. But then, it started to become a collage of some sort on my rib cage and then on my belly and back. I sought to find a dermatologist and was diagnosed with something I never thought in a million years I’d have. You see I never had skin problems, never experienced acne, nor outbreaks or skin rashes, nada. My skin was smooth, light brown and beautifully bronzed when tanned.
We all know this, I’m a journalist and just a few years prior my dad had passed away unexpectedly, and I think I was in a time of my life where I was feeling rebellious. I was a fully responsible adult and professional but I went out dancing almost every weekend, drinking and sweating, not sleeping well because my schedule was unbalanced and unpredictable (typical) and I was covering up grief with doing a million things like I normally do, to distract my emotions from ever coming through. The consequences of suppression, well one of them aside from the psychotic breakdown I had this past year; psoriasis was one of the earlier consequences. Internally I was able to keep my turmoil in place but eventually the external started to reflect it. Additionally, the psoriasis I have “guttate psoriasis” usually shows up in the torso area, and is mainly caused by respiratory infections. I suffer from asthmatic bronchitis, for almost 17 years now, where I get sick once a year, so it also contributed to the appearance of spots on my skin.
So I asked my dermatologist, what can I do? He said take this cream and place it on any spots you find, and don’t get stressed (HA!). So for the last four years all I’ve done is stress of course. It was a common core value in my system. Some days are better than others. Some days I don’t have any spots, some days I have a few and then there are days like last Sunday where I needed to put cream all over my body and it was even painful in some areas. I have been working on myself most recently, eating better and limiting food items that may trigger it like caffeine and alcohol. Am I going to deprive myself from having these delicious things I enjoy having? No, but I will be consuming less of it and only when I have the urge or really want to reward myself, I will take the risk and have it. I have been feeling better. I’m happier than I have been in a very long time. My haircut helped me feel like I’ve refreshed my identity and found myself after a long identity crisis, postpartum; but I do have normal worries. Could be that I’m running late somewhere, or I forgot to make a phone call, or I forgot to get something I reminded myself a million times to get, but I didn’t. These are normal worries. Daily tasks and responsibilities that are inevitable and sometimes could make me feel stressed, even if it’s momentarily. However, I am doing my best to continue working on myself, to let things go and to forgive myself, and not be so harsh with the standards I place on myself, others and even things.
As for my psoriasis, it’s something Ive had to accept into my life. It can’t ruin the qualities I embrace about myself, it’s like my tiger stripes. I embraced them many years ago when I lost weight the first time around, and the new ones I received, during my pregnancy with my baby girl. I will continue to incorporate food items that help with my boosting my immunity such as drinking veggies (juicing), eating more veggies and drinking plenty of water.
Questions I thought I’d answer: Is it contagious? I got offended once when I was asked this by a close friend who thought I’d get her baby sick, I said no and ignored my feelings of being defensive because the truth is I asked the same thing when I found out I had it. It’s not. It’s an auto immunity situation. Is it itchy? Hell yes, sometimes I’m dying to peel my skin off but I can’t (obviously). Does it hurt? It didn’t always hurt, but now there are certain areas that are hurting because the skin feels extremely dry. Did you try different creams before you knew which one worked best? Yes, like every treatment, I switched a couple of times and tried to see what foods even triggered it. When I found the right potion and noticed which foods made me feel tired, stressed or triggered anxiety, I took note and kept that in my bag. Can I ask you about psoriasis? Most definitely! I’ve shared my experience here in case curiosity hits or you’re experiencing the same ! Plus LeAnn Rimes posted a naked picture with psoriasis full on mode, on her skin, on display and if she can embrace it, and like millions of people who suffer from it can too, I’m sure that I can as well. Does it spread in other places? Sometimes it’s distributed elsewhere such as my scalp, eyes, hands and feet, which are then considered to be dermitis, dandruff and eczema. Mainly hydration can be the simple solution, but I also use a medicated oil for my dandruff and it’s helped me so much that I can go weeks without needing it. I use the same cream as the one I use for my guttate psoriasis, for my eyes and for my hands and feet, the eczema, I treat with keeping myself hydrated and try to have some lotion at hand at all times.
I’ve finally recovered from the longest streak I’ve had without my medication since the medication isn’t cheap, and luckily, since I’ve been eating really well, staying hydrating and meditating, my skin has felt luscious again. I’m more gracious with myself and I just accepted that this is a part of who I am and when it flares up, it keeps me in check, I figure out what’s going on, why I feel a certain way and address it.
Happy World Psoriasis Day! Just a side note, someone suffering from psoriasis, can feel very lonely, it can affect their mental health and lead to insecurities. It can also cause depression, affect their external relationships and every day tasks. So just be kinder to others, you never really know what someone is going through, many aren’t vocal about it.
If you’d like to learn more, here are some useful resources below:
Psoriasis triggers: How to find and manage yours
