The Pursuit of Happiness

We all know the movie with Will Smith playing as Chris Gardner, a man who becomes separated from his wife and a single father in less than 50 minutes of the duration of the film and his world collapses as he can’t sell the scanners he spent his life savings on, while working an unpaid internship and experiencing homelessness simultaneously. Throughout the film he’s faced with trials and tribulations and makes it through it all because he stuck to who he truly was. While others didn’t know what he was going through, he stayed humble and kept faith even when he was bound to lose it completely. The movie shows what it is to have strength. Now, I would have loved to have offered Chris a therapy session throughout the film, because he needed some healing. I wonder if he did heal now as a billionaire…

I spent the last couple of years figuring out who I am. While some thought I was outgoing and social, others thought I had a mean demeanor and had it all. My family has been through financial difficulties, I’ve experienced abandonment and hurt in ways that I never thought I’d face it, but it’s taught me so much about my own power. My power, my being, my plain existence. That is power. My Dharma? Do what makes me happy and I will succeed.

In the last two years, I’ve learned to meditate, I’ve learned to be my higher self, I’ve learned to set boundaries, I’ve learned to be at peace with nothing and I’ve learned to find gratitude in all the minuscule details of my life. With this process, I’ve also learned to tune into mediumship. I’ve always had the capability to dream and see what will happen, meet people I’ve never met before in dreams and receive messages that others might not think of it to be messages, but simply figures, animals or a scene from a movie (it makes sense why I’m so talented when it comes to visuals and creativity). A few years ago, I started to lose what I thought was my “luck”, my intuition, my purpose, even the power to dream. After experiencing postpartum depression, I found that through my healing journey, I re-learned things I used to do without thought, all my life. That’s why I was “lucky” and high vibrational. Depression is hard, it’s a fire that’s been burnt out and cold water is consistently poured on it making the fire difficult to reignite. However, I realized that I just needed to light the fire somewhere else. With learning how to find myself again, my intuition started to come back, my dreams started to come back and now I’m connecting on levels I’ve never connected before especially with others in and out of this realm, while helping others heal. I truly believe that I was made to climb the mountain I climbed, to show others that they can climb it too. I’ve been taught grief because I can connect with others who don’t understand how we are all still connected and it all intertwines with your purpose in life.

This post is really an introduction to my new power and how I’m using it to help others because no matter where life takes me, I truly believe I was put on this planet to heal, to help others, to connect, to help communicate what others might not be able to say. I’m a communicator, someone who connects through conversation. With my career as a journalist and now as a teacher, I can see why communication is what ties it all together. It ties all the paths I take. I was told many times growing up that I talked too much, at home, at school, and by others who felt hovered by my ease in expressing myself through words or the arts. It’s no longer the era of staying quiet. I speak without hesitation and it’s truly helped me see why it’s important to.

The other day I was at the nail salon doing a pedicure and I kept hearing “Flor” (which is a name and it also means flower in Spanish), I also kept hearing “mom”. The nail technician in front of me I thought, maybe it’s for her? I answered myself and said, “…no, it’s for her,” the stranger across the room who was also a nail technician. How terrifying for me to say something so random to this person, but I paused and I prayed. I asked if there is a message for me to share with her that she needs to hear, please use me as a vessel to do so. I asked her, “Do you know anyone by the name Flor?”, she said “No.” I then asked her “Where is your mom?”, she said, “Not here,” which is pretty vague to be honest, but I responded “She’s not here, here…” She said, “No she’s not, she passed away last January,” and then it made sense… I said, “Your mom is asking for flowers, I’m hearing an M, did her name start with an M?” She said “ Yes,” I said, “You haven’t been able to visit her and she misses you, place some white lilies somewhere in your house and a clear glass with water and talk to her. You’re going through a difficult time right now with your husband and financially, but it’s because you feel incredible sadness and your mom is still attached to you, trying not to leave you alone instead of finding the light,” By this point, the lady is sobbing and shocked with everything I’ve told her and I asked her if I could hug her. And with my feet out in the open air, because my nail technician and everyone else in the room is listening in to the conversation, and the paint on my toes has been half finished, I hugged her tightly. I started to get emotional, almost as if I hadn’t see her in so long and I was overcomed by emotions. I think it was her mom using me to hug her. It was an incredible feeling. I then asked her about a son, and she said “ I don’t have any sons, I have daughters,” and I said, “…but, you lost a son first” and she looked at me with her eyes open and said “ Yes, I had a miscarriage,” I said, “He's with your mom and he’s with you". The last thing I said to her was, “Whatever you’re going through, it’s temporary, don’t worry about the little things, we make them bigger than they are and you don’t have to visit your mom in Cuba, you can visit her, every day anywhere you choose to”.

This was one of the many instances I’ve had in the last year particularly, I think now that I’ve been finding the light after so much darkness. I can’t wait for what this path holds for me. I’m grateful to be able to share my service to others. I’m happy to help anyone who thinks who needs it. I find joy in helping others lift a burden they’ve been holding. Since I’m doing what my Dharma is, I think it’s right for me to keep going regardless of what others might think might be true or not. Writing this out almost feels therapeutic… Whewwwww It’s been a while since I’ve been holding this one in… since I was 11 years old to be precise. It’s good to not keep quiet anymore. It’s heaven sent to learn how truly important communication is and to pursue what makes you happy.