The LadyBug
The ultrasound day came. I was so nervous the days leading up to it, because you just want everything to be okay with the baby, with you and then it’s also the first meeting. The first time I see what’s inside. The first time seeing this baby who will be my number one priority for the rest of my life. And the day comes and they weigh me and already I’m freaking out about the number, a habit I eliminated right after that appointment. I said I’m growing a human, there’s no need to worry about that number. Then, they bring you into this ice box of a room where they expect you to get half naked because since I was only 8 weeks, they have to do an internal ultrasound not the one on the belly because they can’t see the fetus just yet.
But all of that didn’t matter once I saw that baby on screen. I couldn’t help it, I just burst into tears. I had my family on FaceTime and it’s one of those moments I wish I could have back, because not having them in the room with me, was scary. I had this lady give me some tissue paper, but I didn’t have my husband holding my hand. I had to see it through a phone screen, the joy they were feeling and hopefully they saw some of it because I'm sure my hands were shaking terribly. All of these emotions all at once, and the best of them was the feeling of “okay we’re doing this and I can’t wait to meet you baby”. When we got to my mom’s house after my first appointment, my mom and sister put some cute baby decorations in the back yard and a backdrop with just the sweetest décor to feel that all of this is really happening.
We sat down in the back yard, my nephew and husband were also there and we were talking and my mom asked me what I think it is and I said girl, but if it wasn’t I already have a backup baby shower theme. Look at me planning and producing months in advance. I mentioned that if it was a girl, I’d like to do a lady bug theme, I think it’s cute, creative and lady bugs are for good luck. If it’s a boy, I'll do a safari theme since I love animals and the lion especially. I remember the weeks after I switched many times, second-guessing myself, and going from girl to boy to boy to girl because I looked up all these myths and how they align to the sex of the baby and I was confusing myself, but I always knew it was a girl. And then came announcement day.
When I made the thirteen weeks, I announced it on social media, to my colleagues and it was perfect because it was St.Patrick’s day and we couldn’t have felt luckier that year right after we had just gotten married, to have this little person bless our love in such a marvelous way. Then my belly just grew exponentially now that the world knew. Two weeks prior to the gender reveal party we did, my husband and I were in the elevator and I asked him, “what do you think the baby will be, boy or girl?” he said confidently, “girl.” I knew before him, but thought it was even better knowing he had the same hunch feeling.
A couple of days before the gender reveal, I was driving and stopped at the red light and found a lady bug on my windshield. That was my confirmation. We had a small gender reveal party and partially did it live virtually due to the pandemic but it was amazing to see everyone’s reaction. Especially how laughable it is when I threw the ball the first time and my husband didn’t hit it because I threw it way too softly. But then that second time, he hit it and you heard that POP!!!
And then pink dust covered the sky and my husband and I locked eyes, screamed along with everyone else in the family and hugged so tightly, we knew all along. He took off his blue hat and switch on to the pink one and that’s it, we were mommy and daddy to our little girl. That same day I decided to surprise my family with an ultrasound in the house and they all got to see the baby wave hello for the first time. I knew off the bat her name would be Layla, definitely named after the Eric Clapton song, the acoustic version because it’s one of my favorites... But aside from the name, now comes the countdown, the preparation, the baby shower, the checklist, the adjustments, the reality is getting closer. I’m going to let my husband write his version of his feelings someday, but for me, I felt that September was pretty damn close and yet too far. I was in my second trimester already feeling good, more energy. The hard part was that last trimester every woman who has ever been pregnant, dreads.
